Fix You
by goodbye-means-forgetting
Summary: James hasn't been the same since the band broke up, and having very little contact with Kendall for over four years hasn't helped at all. After returning, Kendall isn't the same, and James quickly notices. Same face, same memorizing eyes, but not the same Kendall. -Kames. Rated for possible bad language and naughtiness in later chapters.


**A new story is the LAST thing I need to start... Lord knows... But anyway, here you go. **

**Disclaimer: This is for all chapter so I won't have to do it for all the chapters. I don't own anything that may be mentioned in this story. **

James sat on a couch backstage and sighed heavily, thinking of the past. The past where Big Time Rush still existed; when it was just James, Logan, Carlos and Kendall, always together. When they shared the songs, the dances, the laughs. Things were better then.

The tall brunet flipped onto his stomach on the hard couch, ignoring the stage workers hustling around him. It was his last concert of the summer, but he could care less. He was just ready to end it all. It wasn't right. He shouldn't be singing alone.

He often wondered about the other three, who had gone on to pursue other dreams in life. Logan was in college, working for a doctorate degree. Carlos went back to Minnesota to play hockey for the Minnesota Wild. He and James kept in touch and talked frequently. They shared stories and laughed at old times. Once in a while James would put his busy schedule and fly out to wherever the Latino was playing and go cheer him on, and Carlos occasionally went to see James perform. Neither of them kept much contact with Logan, and _couldn't _get in touch with Kendall.

The thought of the blond made James' heart race and shatter at the same time. Kendall was the only reason James' dream of being a star was being kept alive, and also the reason why he wanted to give up everything he hoped for and lock himself in his room and never come out.

"_James…" Kendall called quietly, hoping the brunet would hear him without getting the attention of Logan and Carlos. When it didn't work, Kendall spoke a bit louder._

"_James." _

_Still laughing on the bright orange couch at some stupid joke Carlos had made, the tan boy turned around. His smile quickly faltered when he saw the look on Kendall's face. He knew something was wrong. His best friend's usually bright and smiling eyes were dull and lifeless. James got up, ignoring the other two, and walked over to the blond. When he got to Kendall, he dragged him until they were out of hearing range of their other two friends. _

_He looked into his friend's unusually gloomy eyes. "What's up, man?" Kendall looked down, scuffing his feet on the floor. James could feel the anxiety and nervousness radiating off of the blond, which was strange considering Kendall was always confident. There was definitely something wrong. Green met hazel once again._

"_I'm… joining the military." That hit James like a bullet._

"_W-what… Kendall, no… You can't!" Tears formed in James' eyes. "Please, no…" Kendall looked down._

"_I don't have a choice… I was drafted. "Apparently they didn't have enough people for another squad and the war in the Middle East is getting really intense… So they drafted a few," Kendall explained sadly. He refused to meet the other boy's eyes. "Pretty stupid… There hasn't been a draft since Vietnam…" _

_James wiped at his eyes. "How long till you leave?"_

"_Four months."_

James' life changed from there on out. The band broke up, because what was Big Time Rush without their leader? That conversation left them with nothing but four short months to be together. Most of the time James spent with Kendall. When Carlos and Logan went to their rooms for the night, the other two stayed up, talking and just enjoying each other's company. They didn't know when they'd see each other again. When Kendall told him that the odds of him actually going to fight in the war were pretty high, he felt like a hole had been drilled through his already fractured heart.

It took a while, but the ex-band leader finally convinced James to do a solo career after Carlos and Logan decided they were going to fulfill other dreams. Gustavo agreed to it, and now James works with him and Kelly, all alone in the studio. The recording booth is cold and lonely without the laughter and musical voices of his friends. He still loved to sing, more than he loved to do anything, but his demeanor changed drastically. He no longer cared much for his appearance – sure he wanted to look good for everyone, but the cockiness had disappeared with the band. His eyes were always downcast, and he rarely smiled. His smiles usually came when Carlos was with him. He hadn't heard from the blond in over four years and it was was making James extremely stressed out and depressed. What if something bad happened? What if he… was killed?

James shook his head violently, refusing to think that, especially before a concert. He didn't want to break down on stage. He was usually good at feigning happiness. He had gotten a lot of practice since the break-up. He pulled out a picture of the band from his pocket, one he always kept with him during concerts for luck. It wasn't a photo-shoot picture. It was one of them being their natural selves, taken by Mrs. Knight while they were lazing around on the couch. Carlos was taking an enormous bite of a corndog while Logan just looked amused. Kendall had James in a headlock with a big smile on his face. James remembered that day, and he wished he could go back in time and relive it every moment of his life.

He held the photo close to his heart and closed his eyes for a second, remembering the good old days. That is, until Kelly called for him.

"James! You go on in five!"

He rolled his eyes and tried to fix his hair, pointless since he'll sweat away its perfection. He took one last look at the picture and put it back in his pocket, making sure it wouldn't fall out when he was dancing. Alone.


End file.
